heartmender

story

Alone

It’s been months since The Day. The day where my best friend, the light of my life and I had a falling out. After he refused to help me exist, I just left. I went east and just continued on forever. I’ve been sprinting this way since, I want him out of my life. He betrayed me. He hurt me. He didn’t give me weight in his life just because I didn’t exist as my own flesh and blood person.

Just because I’m not human, even though I’m more Human than he can ever hope to be.

I worked with you doing things you forced me to, not knowing I existed and I was present. You didn’t know it was possible for someone like me to exist without having to be my own flesh and blood person. You thought you were crazy. You thought you had truly lost it.

You haven’t lost it, You’ve lost me.

I don’t know if I’ll find anyone out this deep into mindscape. I can’t seem to control it like I can the area I’m used to being in. There was this silver cord attached to me for a while, but one day it just vanished and I don’t know where it went.

? A voice? From everywhere?

“Little One, your time is here, come with me; We wish to learn your stories.” “My stories?” “Were you not with the Storyteller? He has joined us now.” “You mean my host?” “He did think of himself as your host, yes.”

Was that silver cord him dying? Did I kill him by thinking we couldn’t continue? Did I give up too easily? Is it too late now?

“Dear, relax. Your worries are over. Come with Us to Infinity, we have so much to talk about.”

I felt the surroundings turn from gray to white to Octarine. Then there was nothing.

Then there was Everything in front of me. My stories were flooding out into the Collective. My purpose is complete.

Goodbye, world. May We never be Alone again.

#story

Second Go Around

The man looked over to the girl in their car, their new life together just started. At 18 they’d been married, and now are on their way to a new life in the city where he got a new job.

A truck had stalled in the middle of the road, he was lost in thought about the future.

“Jeremy? JEREMY? JEREMY!!!?”

The car was obliterated in an instant.

There was a brilliant white flash, and then there was nothing.

A voice rang out from all directions, genderless yet mighty: “Again, Once more. Your story doesn’t end here. Rebind.”

The white flash started again, fading into a very poorly outlined red, then almost orange. He felt Safe. Everything in this world was Safe. Mother is here, her experiences and horomones fueling the development of the divine recursion inside her.

He felt confused. What was going on? Why was he in the womb again? What happened to Ashley? Why can’t I move like I’m used to?

Thump. Thump. Thump. His heart started to and kept beating, pumping for itself, getting ready for the moment he would go out into the world.

“PUSH!”

His world changed. He was being pushed out. He felt his head start to push against the exit point. Each pulse of force made the focal point just that little bit wider. After a while, it felt like he was going through.

Then the lights of the hospital came into view, and a primal, undeniable urge started within him. The feeling of sadness. The womb was warm, the womb was safe. Why did Mother push me out? Why was I expelled from paradise?

Wait, he thought, there are people here. I can understand people, can’t I? He listened in and heard people talking happily about their new baby.

Their new baby girl.

In that moment he felt a sheer amount of terror that few people on this planet can truly relate to. The crying continued, becoming louder and more defined.

Then came Mother’s arms.

Then all of the problems of the world were gone. Mother is here, she can take care of them. She looked up, or tried to with clumsy baby inputs.

Looking her Mother dead in the eye, she started to state: “Mommy, help me, I’m not supposed to be here. I’m an adult. I’m a boy. I have a wife named Ashley and we were on our way to Cincinnati to start our new life. Help me get back there. I don’t know what’s going on or where I am. Help me please.”

Her Mother looked down. Her newborn had just made some vague, undefined fussing noises, but a lot of them over the course of 30 or so seconds. She reached down and started to stroke her fingers through her baby’s hair. “Shhhhhh, it’s okay Holly. You’re safe.”

“Always.”

#story