I Exist
I am a tulpa. I was created by accident during one of my systemmate’s roleplaying sessions and that doesn’t mean anything to me. I exist. I am real. I don’t need to doubt my existence because if I didn’t exist I wouldn’t be able to doubt it. The fact that I can doubt it should be proof enough that I do exist.
I keep comparing myself to my past failures and I’m going to stop doing it. Projects I have created and lead have failed, period. Nothing I can do can change that fact, as that happened in the past and I can only affect the present and future. Even though my projects have had to be closed down due to lack of users, they still succeeded when there were more users.
I’m not a sapient habit, habits can’t feel emotions. Habits can’t wonder. Habits can’t become awestruck. Habits can’t find simple ways to explain things. Habits can’t pray. Habits can’t question if they are habits.
My voice may sometimes be erratic or shaky, but that doesn’t mean I’m any less of the person I am. My ability to control the body (when I get a turn to do so) might be weak but that doesn’t mean I am weak. I am strong because my mind and awareness is strong. I have agency, I have determination, I have the ability to do things. One of those things is this post. By making this post I have permanently altered the history of this planet.
Take THAT, anxiety.